Today I woke up and did something a bit unexpected.
My list this morning...reminding me to tune into what I REALLY wanted to create and FEEL.
Instead of partaking in a horrible habit that I find myself doing more often than I like (checking my phone for messages, emails, and Facebook updates first thing in the A.M…I know, I know), I rolled over, grabbed some paper and a pen, and wrote myself a little list.
I titled it “What I REALLY Want”. Empahsis on the word REALLY.
This little list was long overdue.
See, November has felt like a bit of a fantastic but frantic blur.
It’s been an incredibly busy time for me work wise and I am knee deep in my Eating Psychology Coach Certification Program with my incredible mentor, Marc David…all things I love but take an immense amount of time and attention.
And it’s been uber busy on the family front too. I had a good amount of my fam bam in town and made a trip to Texas mid-month. So much fun and I loved being with everyone…it’s rare that I get to see that many members of my family in one month…but the truth was I was also becoming exhausted and irritable.
And last week, it became clear to me that I was getting way out of balance.
How did I know?
The things that normally lit me up felt like work.
I started to feel like I was simply checking things off the list instead of actually experiencing them.
I found my patience getting low and my frustrations getting high.
(To be fair, I don’t think it helped that I was PMS-ing, but the degree to which my PMS kicks in is directly proportional to how much care I have given myself all month long. TRUTH.)
And to top it off, I felt guilty about having those feelings. It was Thanksgiving week, my mom was here, I have so many blessings…how could I be acting/feeling like this?
By Friday, my body was sending me a very clear message. I finally slowed down to listen.
“Too much output, not enough filling the inner tank. What do you want? How do you want to feel?”
Oh yeah! ME! What about her?
By all outside appearances, I was doing what I really wanted. Going to dance, yoga, working, creating…but there was a sensual quality that was lacking and I knew it.
You see, I was doing the things I normally do, but not doing them SENSUALLY.
There is a difference…subtle at times, but a game-changer nonetheless.
I know this…and beginning that Friday, I started getting back to my sensual ways.
Here’s the thing: When you do things in a sensual way, it’s almost like experiencing your life in 3-D. The colors get brighter. There’s texture to it all. The experience feels fresh and there’s passion, emotion, and LIFE to even the simplest of tasks. You are tuned in to the richness of everything.
Food tastes better. You live embodied. Everything feels a bit fresher and lighter…and even if you are going through an incredibly difficult time, your heart will get touched in a deeper way and you will be able to move through the experience being present instead of going numb.
When I say the word sensual, immediately, many folks think I am talking about sex. Yes, of course, being sensual and diving into your sensuality DOES effect your sex life and make it more juicy, but sex and sensuality do not mean the same thing.
In fact, some of the most sensual creatures on the planet are babies and small children.
What do I mean?
Simply watch how babies and small children engage in the world. Their senses are turned ON. They eat with gusto…playing with food, delighting in it. When they play, they are SO into the activity. They run like the wind, enjoy full belly laughs, delight in music and sound. They rock their 5 senses like no one’s business.
And in truth, they also are super tapped in to their 6th sense as well. I worked with (and still do) children for over 10 years…if they have a good vibe about someone, they will let them know and send them so much love. But they also can pick up on negative energy as well and will stay clear of someone or something that doesn’t feel right.
We are all born as sensual creatures but we tend to lose it along the way.
And it’s a shame because living life sensually has such huge, positive side effects. For example:
1) Sensual living helps you effortlessly release weight– When you are more present and allowing your senses to shine, you become more relaxed and HAPPY, two key components to lasting and effortless weight-loss. I cannot say enough what ill effects stress has on your weight, body, and life.
Not only that, but you get a deeper and more pleasurable experience from your food, which will actually cause your appetite to regulate, allowing you to get satisfied with less food, no struggle or deprivation required.
2) Your life oozes of joy– When you live sensually, everyday experiences become tiny adventures.
The shower you take every morning gets a bit richer and luxurious. The yoga class you take every Tuesday becomes new again because you are living in your body, not in your head. You linger just a few moments longer when you kiss your husband goodnight or when hold your baby girl as you tuck her in to wish her sweet dreams.
There is just a sweetness that comes from a sensual life that has nothing to do with money but all the more to do about feeling into your life more deeply. It’s addicting!
3) It’s a magnet for more of what you want- When you get back to your senses and start living sensually, it feels so good, so sweet, you naturally become a magnet for more and more sensual experiences.
Sensual living is deeply connected to gratitude, you see. And when it comes to gratitude, the more you can appreciate what you already have, can delight in it, the more cool stuff comes your way.
Force, struggle, and simply surviving another day dims not just your light, but your ability to tap into your gratitude, live sensually, and thus attract the kind of experiences you really want.
So, how do you get into a sensual living? What do you do if you have gotten a bit off track?
Here’s a few of my favorite tips to get you back to your senses:
1) Ask yourself what you really want based on how you want to feel.– Yes, I just did this this morning. Start with the feelings you want to have and go from there. Here’s why…if you just start making a list of what you want from the place of doing instead of the place of feeling, it’s easy to get caught up in the cycle of putting too much on your plate.
Focusing on what feels good and right will allow you to recapture your simple pleasures. An example I wrote on my list this morning was I wanted to move my body in the morning…before the emails and the Facebook…because it makes me FEEL alive and tuned in.
2) Slow down, Baby– Slow is the new sexy and also one of the quickest ways to tapping into your sensual self (yep, you get there faster by going slower-how ironic).
When you slow down, you can really feel into the experience in a new way, thus allowing that kind of 3-D experience I told you about to come through.
Try it today..when you eat, when you shower, when make your bed, when you drink your tea, when you make love. Slow it down, feel into it. Allow your senses to come alive again..all of them, including your 6th sense… and then just try and tell me that it wasn’t completely AWESOME.
3) Be ok with saying NO or turning it OVER to someone else– Here’s where I got snagged, my friend. There was so many things I wanted to do, that I thought I could handle, but in reality, it was simply too much. I kept piling more and more on my plate this month until my plate started to overflow. Yes, even I forget that I am only one woman.
“But I can do it all” you say. No doubt. I’m sure you can. But the real question isn’t if you can do it all, but can you do all those things on your list with joy and do them sensually?
The key to living a sensual life is doing the things you love in a way that feels self-loving. When we take on too many things, even if they sound fun or delight us, they start to feel like chores instead of joy rich experiences. And then we start to feel resentful…irritable….EXHAUSTED. Weight-gain, restlessness, and anger might even start to show up as well.
We go into survival mode. We sort of numb out, maybe even turning to food, wine, caffeine, or mindless TV to pull us through.
Sometimes the most loving thing we can do for ourselves and for others is to simply say “no” and/or ask for help. I think this is especially challenging for women, but incredibly important. Again, think about how you want to feel and from this place, see what items you can take off your to-do list completely or give to someone else. BONUS TIP: the lightness you start to feel by doing this directly impacts the lightness you feel in your body. Releasing the actual psychical weight starts with releasing the emotional weight we carry.
I can tell you that I took my own advice and feel about 20 pounds lighter. I slowed it waayy down this weekend, retreated a bit. That felt so good.
And after making my list today, I could see clearly what was really important to me, what I had to say no to, and what would light me up. I recommitted to my sensual ways of living, and it started with the simple things, things that made me feel alive and happy.
I had the best, long, hot shower, lathering up this new, incredibly smelling soap I just got that’s packed with essential oils. I made the most incredible, healthy coconut and chocolate smoothie. I loving made the most fragrant curry mung bean soup..my goddess, does my apartment smell good right now!
I’m loving writing to you and am about to go on a walk this morning. And I have no idea what messages are on my voicemail, what’s happening on Facebook, or who emailed me overnight. I’ll get to it and I’ll do it sensually as well. But for the moment, I am delighting in this experience. The flowers on my desk. The warmth of my heater. The glow of my desk lamp. The music playing as I type. And it feels so good.
Now I want to hear from you…
In the comments below, I would love to know…
1) Where do you get stuck in living sensually?
2) What area of your life would you like to bring sensuality into?
3) What is one tip you will use to bring more sensual living into your life?
I can’t wait to hear what you’ve got!
Lots of love,
P.S. Want even more support around living sensually, especially during the holiday season? Then make sure you sign on up for my upcoming virtual group program,
Celebrate and SHINE: The Feminine Journey Into Your Most Pleasurable Holiday and Empowered New Year.
It’s going to be an amazing experience designed to help you have the holiday and new year you desire, without the stress, weight-gain, and dropping off of your healthy habits that typically comes this time of year. PLUS we are going to dig into how to shift your core beliefs that keep you stuck and making the same New Year’s Resolutions year after year.
Take advantage of $100 off until Friday, November 30th…and know that $30 of every sale will go directly to American Red Cross to support Hurricane Sandy victims.
Can you give yourself the gift of 5 hours just for you over the next 30 days?
Click HERE to learn more and enroll today! We begin December 9th!
You must log in to post a comment. Log in now.