Before I get into this whole “Revenge Body” discussion, I just want to remind all my Los Angeles ladies that our first “The Well” workshop of the year will be on January 29th, where we will be visiting the power of our decisions and how to reach your Soul Goals (without ever resolving to do one more soul-sucking diet again!)
Click HERE to learn more and register at the early-bird rate!
Ok, I hope you’re still with me because this is important…it effects all of us (women, men, and the girls we want to grow up with as much confidence as possible).
Recently, I read an article on Hellogiggles.com that discussed the new reality show “Revenge Body” starring Khloe Kardashian.
As the name would suggest, it’s all about how, with the help of Khloe and her team of trainers, stylists, etc., women can take their bodies to the “next level” as a way to get revenge post-heartbreak. As you may or may not know, Khloe is seemingly the “perfect” host because she herself claimed a “revenge body” after her divorce (losing weight, changing her hair, etc.)
To be honest, I didn’t even know this show was in the works but it doesn’t surprise me. It plays on an old(and FALSE!) belief that looking good is the best revenge and that a woman’s best chance at power lies in her ability to up-level her beauty.
That’s why I was so thankful for the thoughtful discussion this article and Katie Wilcox (creator of “Healthy is the New Skinny” and “Natural Models LA”) brought to the matter and how we keep looking for an outside shift to create happiness, health, love, you name it!
And it got me thinking about my own horrific breakup in 2014, of the pain that resulted from a broken engagement and the love of my life abruptly moving out and back to NYC.
During that time, my body definitely did some shape-shifting. There was an incredible amount of stress in my life and yes, I was working out a good amount, trying to channel my energy into something positive for myself, but no more than the usual.
In some ways, the initial few months of my breakup are an emotional blur.
But here’s what I can I tell you for sure…
In no way was I focused on getting a “revenge body”. (Think about that term for just a moment…let it sink in.) That wasn’t anywhere near the top of what I wanted.
What I wanted most was to reclaim my life.
I wanted to make myself proud.
I wanted to get back on my feet.
I wanted to reclaim my smile.
I wanted to know myself more deeply.
I wanted to look at myself honestly and truly.
I wanted to know where I went wrong and where I truly shined as a partner.
I wanted to not just lick my wounds but heal them so I could love myself truly, madly, deeply…and eventually love another again.
I wanted to find peace in my heart again.
I wanted to be able to crawl into bed at night alone and not ache for my lover.
I wanted to re-learn how to feel totally comfortable with just me when I turned off the lights.
I wanted to know exactly what my interests were, what my talents were, now, in this post-relationship reality.
I wanted to try things I had been afraid of.
I wanted to reinvent my home so it wouldn’t feel like a memorial of love that once lived there, but rather a sanctuary I could find solace in.
I wanted to travel and explore and not answer to anyone.
I wanted to write and create and feel into what excited me.
I wanted to sweat and play and dance.
I wanted to nourish myself.
I wanted emotional, spiritual, and financial health.
I wanted to have girls’ nights…and eventually, I wanted to have first dates again.
I wanted to spend time with my family.
I wanted to forgive. I wanted to transform my pain into something beautiful.
I wanted a million and one things, but a revenge body wasn’t one of them.
Just a body that was healthy, strong, capable, loved.
Just a body that I knew how to care for.
Just a body that I could feel at home in.
Just a body that welcomed sensation, where I didn’t feel like my heart was outside of my chest every single morning.
That was the body I wanted and worked hard to get back to.
It wasn’t about a size; it was about a sense of home.
When a relationship ends, when loss happens, when your heart breaks, you can surely put your energy towards revenge.
You can think of clever ways to ignite curiosity from the other, have them take notice of your outside appearances, you can daydream about how your shape-shifting will cause them to have a heart-shift.
You can use that time as a golden opportunity to truly improve yourself from the inside-out, to do right by you, to heal, to make your life beautiful.
Because we never can control what the other will do…
But we can always direct our energy in a way that will add up to a life and way of being that WE can be proud of. Used correctly, our “meantime” between heartbreak and healing can lead us to a place that our former self will be so thankful to us for creating.
Whatever you do, DO IT FOR YOU, my love.
Be clear about your intentions, about why you are doing what you are doing.
You deserve that kinda love.
Have thoughts on “Revenge Body” or this post?
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