It wasn’t the right color.
I knew it once it hit the walls.
I tried to really hard to convince myself that I liked it, that it could work.
It was a nice color after all and could look amazing in another room, but it wasn’t my vision for this room.
I mean, I have really been planning out every detail of my bedroom redecoration, aka Project Sexy Juju. (Good name, right? )
But here I was with a whole gallon of paint and one wall painted…too late and in too deep to pull the plug. I couldn’t turn back and jump ship. I was in this.
I did everything I could think of to make it work.
I painted some more, hoping it would begin to look different.
I put on the lights to see if it looked any better.
I painted a second coat.
But my eyes kept seeing lavender and a hint of blue coming through.
My touch of grey was more like a touch of purple.
I needed another set of eyes.
Maybe I had this wrong.
So I asked a friend to take a look. I knew she didn’t want to disappoint me, but she agreed that yes, it did indeed have a hint of lavender… the truth is the truth.
Another big sigh of disappointment…and yet, I was grateful for her honesty.
I wanted grey. The perfect light grey.
A little defeated, I finally caved in.
Paint brush and roller down.
I stopped painting.
I did what any rational human being would do….I grabbed my phone and went to Instagram.
I looked at my favorite interior designer accounts (again!) and found the perfect shade of grey.
Hello, why didn’t I do this before?
Correction…why didn’t I actually write down the name of the color and go buy that paint?
For all my planning, this was a big oversight. Lesson learned.
I thought about rolling to the paint store straight away, to get this handled.
Instead, I went to bed.
I decided a good night’s sleep was essential to a good decision and besides, I wanted to see what it looked like in the morning light. Maybe it just needed sunshine.
So in the morning, I eagerly drew open the shades. I let the sunlight run her fingers across the wall.
Still not right.
Still not what I knew I really wanted.
End of the day, I could lie to myself, keep painting, but never feel like I had a match , a match to what I knew I should feel, what I wanted my vision to look like.
Or, I could cut my losses, suck up the time and money I could never get back, and go for one I wanted.
Make myself happy.
Just start over
Think big picture.
Because wouldn’t it be better to spend a little more money and time and have to repaint only ¼ of a bedroom than to look at an entire room for the next number of years that made me a feel a continual twinge of resentment and secret longing for the room that could have been?
Yeah…I choose to go for that real grey. Reboot and repaint.
And off the paint store I go.
I deserve to do it right. I deserve to have it right.
And in the end, I was digging the life lesson here…
This whole situation was giving me a chance to observe myself, to see if I was going to go for what I wanted or if I was going to keep trying to squeeze myself into situations that weren’t the right fit, a knockoff of what would be my truest desire.
Yes, I got all that from a jacked up paint color.
Bottom line: Honor what you know.
We can try to convince ourselves something works.
That we can make do with what’s being offered.
That we want too much.
That it’s not that important.
That we should just stick it out because we were the ones that choose it anyhow.
That it will look better when we have different lighting, decor, more money, a better job, a different body, etc.,etc.
But we know what we know.
And if the difference between having what we have and what we really want is a matter of cutting our losses and beginning again, I say begin again.
Cut your losses.
Admit to yourself that you know what you know.
When you know in the beginning or middle that it isn’t right, give thanks for the insight.
It’s ok! You can choose again.
You can honor that voice that says, “I thought I wanted this, but something feels off. This isn’t the right fit. I need to stop and/or I need to take another direction.”
You can even do that if you’re almost done. It’s never too late!
To that I say, hell yeah! Good on ya for listening to your spirit, your intuition, no matter how big or small the choice is.
(In fact, the more you can do it with the small things, the easier it will be when the big rocks roll around).
Pick your colors wisely. Paint your life with purpose, self-trust, and commitment to your happiness.
In the end, you’ll love yourself for it and the colors you choose will be just the right shade of YOU.
P.S. Fun in February…so much goodness in the works! Stay tuned..and I promise to show you the finished product of Sexy Juju!